Living with ADHD

Living with ADHD

By Vicki Kiely

My name is Vicki Kiely and I have ADHD, apparently adult onset, but I am pretty certain I have had it my entire life. It wasn’t a ‘thing’ when I was a child, this ADHD diagnosis. I was constantly being told to stop talking in class, to stop interrupting people in every part of my life, from teachers, to parents, strangers and friends. It was embarrassing and continues to be. I am constantly looking for ways to deal with it.

For me cleaning my house, and organizing my things, helps me to feel like I am in control of it. This started being my coping mechanism when I was about 19 years old, and I thought I had OCD, that’s what all my friends said I had. “Friends”, the TV show became the hit in my twenties, and I was quickly nicknamed ‘Monica’ by all who knew me, and especially those who lived with me. My apartment was spotless, and if someone finished a cup of tea, before they put it on the table, I was washing it in the sink. It was not a great place to be in my head at that time, but I had no idea what was going on with me.

I am sure it took incredible patience of the people around me to deal with me. I could not focus on one conversation if I was out at dinner in a group. It became so exhausting and difficult. One

person would be talking to me, but my hyperactive brain was also trying to listen to the conversation of the people next to me. I only heard a third of what people would share with me, and this became an ongoing joke in my life. Yes, people laughed, and so did I, but in reality it really got me down, made me anxious, and I had less desire to socialize.

And don’t get me started on my penchant for impulsivity. Dear Lord! When a notion strikes me, I need to fulfill it right then and there. It is an urge and a need far bigger than me, like a Wizard of Oz type force that I can’t resist or say no to. This can present in any number if ways, I could be sitting on my couch on a Saturday morning and suddenly decide I want to drive 5 hours away to the mountains for a night, it could be sending someone a text I know that I shouldnt, order food I think I want to be delivered because I saw an advert on tv, or it could present with online shopping buying things I really don’t need, and regret purchasing afterwards.

I am impulsive with my emotions also, finding it very hard to contain feelings of love, excitement, disgust, obsession, irritation, and the list goes on. It can compel people to want to be around me, or have the converse effect. We with ADHD are like magnets in many ways, attracting some and repelling others. I struggled desperately throughout my twenties and thirties with these characteristics, not fully understanding why I was like that, and basically just accepting it for what it was, and doing my best to get through life in spite of these idiosyncrasies.

ADHD was still not on my radar at this point, and I just carried on, missing lectures at college, not applying myself (as some would say), and not really fulfilling my potential. I had actually received great results in my last year at secondary school, and I knew that when I applied myself I could do well. Yet, I was weary of that hard study. It took so much out of me, and I needed a break. I went from college degree to college degree, until I finally settled on acting and the performing arts. It is where my heart had always been, and I thrived in these courses, receiving top scores in my Licentiate Diploma from the Royal Irish Academy of Music in Dublin, and also doing well in my acting course at the Gaiety School of Acting. I then had an inkling that when I was doing something I loved, the achievements came effortlessly. I didn’t know this then, but this was a huge indicator that I in fact had ADHD all those years ago. I had hyper focus, and was getting results, hyper focus being an ADHD persons super power in my opinion.

People with ADHD do not have a problem with focus, the problem is that if they aren’t interested in what they must focus on, their brain takes a different turn, directing them to something that is more ‘interesting’. When I am in the zone I can focus and sit in one spot for hours on end.

Let me get a little bit technical so you can understand what ADHD is from a clinical perspective:

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a neurodevelopmental disorder that affects people of all ages. ADHD can be a significant challenge for people living in today's fast-paced, overstimulated world. The condition can affect a person's ability to focus, control impulses, and maintain attention, making it difficult to accomplish daily tasks and achieve personal goals. While medication is often prescribed to help manage symptoms, there are alternative natural solutions and strategies that can help people with ADHD live more effectively in our modern world.

ADHD is often perceived as a challenge due to its impact on attention span, impulsivity, and hyperactivity. However, it is essential to recognize that ADHD can also be viewed as a unique superpower with its own set of strengths and advantages. Individuals with ADHD often possess exceptional qualities that can be harnessed to their advantage.

One of the remarkable aspects of ADHD is the ability to think outside the box. People with ADHD tend to have highly creative minds, capable of making connections that others might miss. They often exhibit a knack for generating innovative ideas and approaching problems from unconventional angles. This creative thinking can lead to unique insights, breakthrough solutions, and the ability to approach challenges with a fresh perspective.

Additionally, individuals with ADHD often exhibit high levels of hyperfocus. While they may struggle with maintaining focus on mundane or uninteresting tasks, when something captures their interest, they can become completely absorbed in it. This intense concentration and hyperfocus can lead to exceptional performance in areas of personal interest or passion. When individuals with ADHD find an activity that aligns with their strengths and passions, they can channel their energy and focus into achieving remarkable results.

ADHD can be seen as a superpower because it brings with it qualities like creativity and hyperfocus. By embracing and leveraging these strengths, individuals with ADHD can unlock their full potential, excel in their areas of interest, and make significant contributions to various fields. With the right support, understanding, and the recognition of their unique abilities, individuals with ADHD can thrive and demonstrate that their condition is not a limitation but a source of exceptional talent.

I am now taking medication to help with my ADHD, as I am peri-menopausal and I am draped in brain fog. I needed assistance, and I must say it is the best thing I have ever done. I am taking a low dose of Ritalin every day, and I feel wonderful, focused, productive, and not as scatterbrained. To be honest I wish I had taken this medication much earlier in my life. It has been a game changer for me.This, I realize, is not for everyone, and I coped for years without it, but for now this is my choice of treatment. In this blog I will offer many different ways and manners to manage ADHD, which as I said already, is your super power.

In this blog I will give explanations, treatments, share facts, and also give you a broader understanding of what it is like to be a person with this diagnosis, and hopefully help build empathy and understanding around it. Knowing someone with this can be challenging, but I believe that once people are versed in the ins and outs of it better, we can support those we love who have it, from our children, to our loved ones, to anyone we meet who might have it. I have done lots of research and the websites I used are listed at the bottom of this blog.

1: Understanding ADHD

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

Inattention is one of the hallmark symptoms of ADHD.

People with ADHD often struggle with paying attention to details, following through on tasks, and organizing their thoughts and activities. They may be easily distracted by external stimuli or their own thoughts, leading to frequent mistakes and forgetfulness. For example, a child with ADHD may have difficulty completing homework assignments because they are unable to focus for long periods of time.

Hyperactivity is another common symptom of ADHD. Individuals with ADHD often have a high level of energy and an inability to sit still for extended periods. They may exhibit restlessness, fidgeting, and excessive talking or interrupting others. This symptom can be particularly problematic in classroom settings, where the child may be disruptive to others and have difficulty following instructions.

Impulsivity is the final symptom of ADHD. People with ADHD may act without thinking, blurting out comments or interrupting others during conversations. They may also engage in impulsive behaviors such as spending money impulsively or engaging in risky behaviors without considering the potential consequences.

There are three types of ADHD: predominantly inattentive type, predominantly hyperactive-impulsive type, and combined type. Predominantly inattentive type ADHD is characterized by symptoms of inattention, while predominantly hyperactive-impulsive type ADHD is characterized by symptoms of hyperactivity and impulsivity. Combined type ADHD is characterized by symptoms of both inattention and hyperactivity-impulsivity. My diagnosis is combined type.

While ADHD is commonly associated with childhood, it can also persist into adulthood, like it did for me. Adults with ADHD may experience difficulties with time management, organization, and multitasking. They may also have difficulty maintaining personal relationships and holding down a job.

For sure my ADHD has hindered my romantic relationships, and ones in friendships, but thankfully it has not created difficulties at work. At work, as I said earlier, I am hyper focused. In the evenings is when I struggle, mostly with personal relationships, as my brain is tired, and I have spent most of my energy at my job, which is high exertion. I am a vocal coach and a speech and drama teacher. The majority of my students are children, so my ability to hyper focus is needed. The downside of hyper focus is that it is draining. I feel this is also why when I am out in a social environment I struggle. It will present differently for each individual.

In conclusion, ADHD is a complex disorder that affects people of all ages. Its symptoms of inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity can cause significant impairment in multiple areas of life. Understanding the different types of ADHD and its impact on both children and adults is essential for effective diagnosis and treatment.

If you suspect you or your child may be struggling with ADD or ADHD I highly recommend getting diagnosed. It is worthwhile because then first of all you know what is going on with you and can tackle it head on, and also you can understand and empathize with yourself or your child for the obstacles you have been hurdling over. It is a lengthy process getting diagnosed, but even with that, you will learn so much about yourself and have clinical and trained support to help you moving forward.

Many people choose not to go for the testing, and self diagnose, and I am sure more often than not people are right, but I can’t recommend talking to a specialized psychiatrist enough. It’s a game changer. At least it was for me.

2: The Challenges of Living with ADHD in Today’s World

Overstimulation

The modern world is a noisy, chaotic, and constantly changing place. For people with ADHD, this can be overwhelming. Everything from traffic noise to bright screens can be overstimulating and distracting, making it difficult to focus on the task at hand. In addition, many people with ADHD have sensory processing issues, which can make it difficult to filter out background noise and other distractions.

This is a huge issue for me personally. I used to think I could multitask, but the more I look at my life, the more this is blatantly untrue.

For me I find it hard to have a conversation in a busy place, or to interact with more than one person. If there is a loud noise, I am immediately distracted. If someone walks in to the restaurant, my attention goes directly to them, and away from the person I am with, no matter what they are talking to me about, eek. I try to listen to conversations next to me, whilst also trying to talk to the person in front of me. I don’t do this to be rude, its just the way I am wired, and I truly can’t help it. This is something that has brought me so much shame over the years, but I now can explain this to my friends, and they are understanding.

I must say that the medication does reduce this for me a little, but not fully. Noises and distractions are a big issue for me, and I am learning ways to cope with that. It is a sensory overload for us with ADHD, and that should not be taken lightly. I empathize and hope that I can at least share some coping skills with you. I try to sit in the quieter part of restaurants if I need to have a deep conversation with someone, so that I can give my full attention to them. Often I have a chat with myself before I go out so that I am centered and present. Meditation is not easy for me, so it is more of a chat in my head, and a pat on the proverbial back telling myself ‘You can do this Vick’. I can not listen to music and write at the same time for instance, I need a perfectly quiet space.

People who I have talked to with ADHD have also said that they need a quiet space to work, and that they need to keep distractions to a minimum. Give yourself that gift of creating an environment for yourself where you can be productive and thrive.

Information Overload

We live in an age of information overload. The internet has made it possible to access vast amounts of information at the click of a button. While this can be beneficial in many ways, it can also be overwhelming for people with ADHD. With so much information available, it can be difficult to prioritize and focus on the most important tasks. And not only that, just the sheer volume of information can become overwhelming and very taxing to sort through.

Multitasking

Multitasking is a buzzword in today’s world. Many employers expect their employees to be able to juggle multiple tasks at once, and the pressure to multitask can be intense. However, for people with ADHD, multitasking can be extremely challenging. ADHD makes it difficult to shift focus from one task to another, and trying to do too many things at once can lead to increased stress and decreased productivity.

We need to make more allowances for people in general and take some of the pressure off everyone to allow for more accurate and diligent work.

This is something I truly have a problem with. Yet, I operate like this too often, having multiple tabs open on my screen, doing 4 jobs at once, and none to completion and none to a high level. Since taking Ritalin, I am not as troubled by this, and I take one task at a time. Meditation can have this same effect for others, as can having done a good workout at the gym before work (this used to be my strategy and still is actually). In my case I battled with this my entire life, and finally, with the help of meds, I feel more organized and driven to complete a workload. Again, this is only my experience, and each person will be different.

Technology and Social Media

Technology has revolutionized the way we live our lives, but it has also brought new challenges for people with ADHD. Smartphones, social media, and other digital distractions can be especially difficult to resist for those with ADHD. Studies have shown that excessive screen time can worsen ADHD symptoms, leading to increased distractibility, impulsivity, and hyperactivity. I know that for me, I can find myself scrolling through social media, and will procrastinate on the work I need to do. I have to put my phone to the side, and only have one or two tabs open at once to be constructive in any enterprise I am endeavoring.

Managing Distractions

Living with ADHD in today’s world can be challenging, but there are strategies that can help. One of the most effective ways to manage distractions is to create a structured environment. This might involve breaking tasks down into smaller, more manageable chunks, or setting aside specific times for certain activities. It can also be helpful to eliminate unnecessary distractions, such as turning off notifications on your phone or working in a quiet environment.

For me, I have to put my phone out of sight, and I can not have music in the background if I am trying to focus on something. Quiet and calm are the best rules for me to be able to concentrate and focus. For others music in the background can help. Try as many strategies as you can until you find which works best for you.

3: The Impact of Diet on ADHD

In this section, i will explore the impact of diet on ADHD and discuss the foods that should be avoided and the nutrients that should be included to support optimal brain function.

Foods to Avoid

Certain foods and additives can worsen ADHD symptoms, making it essential to avoid them as much as possible. These include:

Sugar and Artificial Sweeteners: Consuming large amounts of sugar and artificial sweeteners can lead to hyperactivity, impulsivity, and difficulty concentrating.
Processed Foods: Processed foods that are high in preservatives, artificial flavors, and colors can have a detrimental impact on brain function.
Fast Foods: Fast foods that are high in fat and sugar can lead to fatigue, lethargy, and brain fog.
Dairy Products: Some individuals with ADHD are sensitive to dairy products, which can lead to inflammation, digestive issues, and behavioral problems.
Gluten: Gluten is a protein found in wheat, rye, and barley. Some individuals with ADHD may be sensitive to gluten, which can lead to cognitive impairment, fatigue, and mood swings.

Foods to Include

It is essential to consume nutrient-dense foods that support brain function and improve ADHD symptoms. These include:

Protein: Protein is essential for optimal brain function, and individuals with ADHD may benefit from consuming lean meats, fish, nuts, and legumes.
Fruits and Vegetables: Fruits and vegetables are packed with essential vitamins and minerals that support brain health. Dark leafy greens, berries, and citrus fruits are particularly beneficial.
Omega-3 Fatty Acids: Omega-3 fatty acids are essential for brain function and can be found in fatty fish such as salmon, sardines, and tuna, as well as walnuts and flaxseeds.
Complex Carbohydrates: Complex carbohydrates, such as whole grains, fruits, and vegetables, provide a steady source of energy for the brain and can improve focus and concentration.
Water: Dehydration can worsen ADHD symptoms, so it is essential to drink plenty of water throughout the day.

I can attest to the above. We are what we eat, and certain foods are massive triggers that heighten my ADHD symptoms. I have to be so careful about my sugar intake, and I’m also addicted to white starches, like pasta, bread, potatoes, and rice. I know these foods create adverse side effects for my ADHD, and I am still struggling to manage these cravings. The struggle is related to the impulsivity symptoms and presentations of ADHD. So that said, I am a work in progress with the treating my ADHD with diet. I will get there.

4: The Benefits of Exercise for people with ADHD

I do not know who or where I would be in the absence of my daily workout regime. It was a game changer for me and my ADHD when I started diligently applying myself to exercise. The harder I go at the gym, the more focused and productive I tend to be on that day. This is my number one recommendation if you are suffering from ADHD, or your child is. I walk my dogs 4km every single day, and on top of this I do spinning classes twice a week, and weight train 5 days a week. You do not need to go as hard as me, this is what suits my personality and works for me. I do however recommend at least some strenuous activity for a minimum of 30 minutes a day to assist in the management of your ADHD symptoms.

Exercise has long been known to provide numerous physical benefits, such as increased strength, endurance, and cardiovascular health. However, research has also demonstrated that exercise can have significant benefits for mental health, including for individuals with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

One of the primary benefits of exercise for people with ADHD is its ability to improve focus and attention. Studies have shown that even short bursts of exercise, such as a 20-minute walk, can help boost cognitive function and improve attentional control. Regular exercise can also help increase the production of neurotransmitters such as dopamine, which is known to play a key role in attention and motivation.

Exercise has also been shown to help reduce hyperactivity and impulsivity, two hallmark symptoms of ADHD. Engaging in physical activity can provide an outlet for excess energy and help individuals better regulate their behavior. Furthermore, exercise has been shown to improve self-control and reduce impulsivity, both of which can be particularly beneficial for individuals with ADHD.

In addition to improving focus and reducing hyperactivity, exercise can also have a positive impact on mood. Physical activity has been shown to increase the production of endorphins, which are chemicals in the brain that promote feelings of happiness and well-being. Exercise can also help reduce stress and anxiety, which are common co-occurring conditions for individuals with ADHD.

When it comes to choosing the best types of exercise for individuals with ADHD, there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Some individuals may prefer high-intensity activities such as running or weightlifting, while others may enjoy more low-impact activities such as yoga or swimming. The key is to find an activity that is enjoyable and sustainable.

It is also important to note that exercise alone may not be sufficient for managing ADHD symptoms. While physical activity can certainly help improve focus and reduce hyperactivity, it is often most effective when combined with other treatment modalities such as medication and therapy. Additionally, it is important to work with a healthcare professional to develop a personalized treatment plan that takes into account an individual's unique needs and challenges.

I have mentioned this a number of times already here, exercise is like taking natural ADHD medication. For me the more strenuous training I do in the morning, the more productive day ahead I am going to have. I can not stress this enough. If you have a child with ADHD, having them do sports and any activities that involve running or moving, is going to make a big difference on their experience and behavior, both at school and at home.

Even though I am medicated now, I still workout almost every day, it does something special to the brain chemistry, it releases dopamine, and I am addicted to that feeling now. People with ADHD cant receive dopamine correctly to their brain, which leads to emotional responses that are different to someone who is neurotypical. Dopamine regulates learning and motivation, so you can see why this release assists someone with ADHD.

5: Mindfulness and Meditation for ADHD

I am including this because I know that it works exceptionally well for many others. Meditation is a tricky state for me to get to. I simply do not enjoy it, and it makes me feel like a failure when I can’t do it. I have monkey mind, as I am sure many of you do also. My meditation is in doing something, for example the gym, or a walk on the beach, or dancing to loud music around my kitchen. It is when my hair is proverbially let down, and I am not ‘thinking’ of anything. I do on occasion practice meditation with the app called ‘CALM’ as this has guided meditations that I find much easier to complete rather than sitting in silence. See what works for you. Silent mediation is not for me.

On the other hand, friends of mine with ADHD swear by meditation and so here it is in this blog for those of you who wish to know more.

ADHD can make it difficult for individuals to focus, control impulsive behavior, and manage stress. While medication and therapy can be effective treatments for ADHD, mindfulness and meditation can also be valuable tools in managing symptoms. I will discuss the benefits of mindfulness and meditation for individuals with ADHD and offer tips for incorporating these practices into daily life.

What is Mindfulness?

Mindfulness is the practice of being present and aware of one's thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations in the present moment. It involves paying attention to the present without judgment, allowing oneself to observe thoughts and emotions without becoming overly attached or overwhelmed by them. Mindfulness can be practiced through various techniques such as meditation, deep breathing, and body scanning.

Benefits of Mindfulness for ADHD

Studies have shown that mindfulness can be an effective tool for managing ADHD symptoms. Here are some benefits of mindfulness for individuals with ADHD:

Improved Focus: Mindfulness can help individuals with ADHD improve their ability to focus. By learning to pay attention to the present moment, individuals can train their minds to stay focused on tasks for longer periods.
Reduced Impulsivity: Mindfulness can help individuals with ADHD reduce their impulsivity by increasing their awareness of their thoughts and emotions. By becoming more aware of their impulses, individuals can better control their behavior and make more thoughtful decisions.
Better Stress Management: Mindfulness can also help individuals with ADHD manage stress better. By practicing mindfulness techniques, individuals can learn to regulate their emotions, reduce anxiety, and develop a sense of calm.

Tips for Incorporating Mindfulness into Daily Life

Set aside time for mindfulness practice: Schedule time each day to practice mindfulness. This can be as little as five minutes a day.
Find a quiet place: Find a quiet place where you can practice mindfulness without distractions.
Focus on your breath: Take deep breaths and focus on the sensation of your breath as it enters and leaves your body.
Use guided meditations: Use guided meditations to help you stay focused during your mindfulness practice.
Be patient: Mindfulness is a skill that takes time to develop. Be patient with yourself and don't expect immediate results.

6: Sleep and ADHD

ADHD affects many aspects of an individual's life, including their ability to sleep. For individuals with ADHD, sleep disturbances are common, and they often experience difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep. The impact of sleep disturbances on ADHD symptoms can be significant, leading to increased impulsivity, hyperactivity, and inattention during the day.

The Importance of Good Sleep Habits

It is essential for individuals with ADHD to establish good sleep habits to manage their symptoms effectively. Sleep is critical for the brain's ability to function correctly, and inadequate sleep can lead to a decline in cognitive performance, memory, and attention. In individuals with ADHD, poor sleep can exacerbate symptoms and make it more challenging to manage the condition effectively.

Creating a Sleep-Friendly Environment

Creating a sleep-friendly environment is crucial for individuals with ADHD. A quiet and peaceful bedroom with minimal distractions can promote restful sleep. The use of blackout curtains and white noise machines can also be helpful in creating a relaxing sleep environment. Additionally, it is important to limit exposure to electronic devices such as smartphones, tablets, and televisions before bedtime, as they can interfere with the brain's ability to wind down and prepare for sleep.

Developing a Consistent Bedtime Routine

Developing a consistent bedtime routine can also help individuals with ADHD manage their symptoms and promote restful sleep. A regular sleep schedule can help the brain establish a natural sleep-wake cycle, which can lead to better sleep quality. It is also important to establish a consistent bedtime routine that includes relaxing activities such as reading a book or taking a warm bath.

Other Tips for Better Sleep with ADHD

In addition to creating a sleep-friendly environment and developing a consistent bedtime routine, there are other tips individuals with ADHD can follow to improve sleep quality. Regular exercise can help promote better sleep quality by reducing anxiety and stress levels. Additionally, it is important to avoid caffeine and sugar in the evenings as they can interfere with sleep quality.

I listen to bedtime stories on the ‘CALM’ app sometimes, which can assist in falling asleep. Reading in bed always puts me to sleep, so I can highly recommend these strategies based on my personal experience. I go to bed at the same time every night, usually quite early, 8.30pm, and I aim to be asleep by 10pm. Routine is crucial to my ADHD management.

7: Managing ADHD at Work and School

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can pose challenges in both professional and academic settings. However, with the right strategies and support, individuals with ADHD can manage their symptoms and achieve their goals.

Setting Realistic Goals

One of the key ways to manage ADHD symptoms is to set realistic goals. It is important to be honest with yourself about your capabilities and limitations. Start by breaking down larger goals into smaller, more manageable tasks. This can help you stay focused and motivated, and avoid feeling overwhelmed.

Prioritizing Activities

Prioritizing activities is also crucial for managing ADHD. It can be helpful to make a list of tasks and rank them in order of importance. Try to tackle the most important tasks first, and save less urgent tasks for later. This can help you stay on track and avoid distractions.

Breaking Tasks into Manageable Steps

Breaking tasks into smaller steps can also help you manage your ADHD symptoms. For example, if you need to write a report, start by breaking the task down into smaller steps like researching, outlining, and drafting. This can make the task feel less daunting and help you stay focused.

Communication and Seeking Support

Communication is important in managing ADHD, particularly in professional and academic settings. It can be helpful to explain your condition to colleagues, teachers, or counselors so that they understand your needs and can offer support. For example, you may need more frequent breaks or prefer written instructions over verbal ones.

Seeking support from others is also important. This can include colleagues, teachers, counselors, or support groups. It is important to remember that you are not alone in managing ADHD, and that there are many resources available to help you.

My friends and family are well versed in my personality and my struggles with ADHD for the most part. I am certain that they find it quite irritating at times, and no doubt it is a challenge to be my friend. I count myself blessed that my nearest and dearest are incredibly patient and understanding, making allowances for my lack of attention, my frequent forgetfulness, that I might stand up to do something every ten minutes, like organize the table, move books around, or just move to another chair, because I just find it so difficult to sit still for too long, that I only listen to a part of what they tell me (I am working hard to be a better listener), and that it is not personal to them, and that sometimes I just can’t help it.

Explain to people that this is a real struggle for you, and I promise nine out of ten people will accept you and your quirks, and even love you for them.

Using Tools and Technology

Finally, using tools and technology can also be helpful in managing ADHD. For example, there are many apps and programs available that can help with time management, organization, and focus. Using tools like noise-canceling headphones or fidget toys can also help reduce distractions. I have a fidget spinner in my classroom, and I also have pillow that has sensory balls inside that I use in the evening if I am watching television. It helps me stay focused on the show, and stops me from reaching for my phone.

8: Social Relationships and ADHD

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can have a significant impact on social relationships, as individuals with this condition may struggle with communication, emotional regulation, and impulsivity. These challenges can affect friendships, romantic partnerships, and family dynamics, but there are ways to manage them and build healthy relationships.

Friendships

People with ADHD may have difficulty making and maintaining friendships, as they may struggle with social cues, interrupt others, or struggle with emotional regulation. However, with support and practice, it is possible to develop healthy friendships. I also touched on this regarding my personal life in the previous section. Relationships are challenging for us with ADHD, but we can manage them with some effort, and some compassion from others.

To build and maintain friendships, individuals with ADHD can:

Be honest and open with friends about their condition and its impact on their behavior.
Practice active listening and try to avoid interrupting others. This is a really tough one for me, and where I am doing my most work on myself to improve.
Use tools such as reminders, alarms, and calendars to keep track of social engagements. If I don’t put it in my phone with an alarm, it isn’t happening.
Engage in activities that align with your interests and strengths, which can help you feel more confident and engaged in social situations.
Seek support from therapists, coaches, or support groups to develop social skills and strategies for managing ADHD symptoms.

Romantic Partnerships

ADHD can also affect romantic relationships, as it may lead to impulsivity, emotional dysregulation, and difficulty with communication. However, with awareness and effort, individuals with ADHD can develop healthy, fulfilling romantic partnerships.

To improve romantic relationships, individuals with ADHD can:

Be upfront and honest with their partner about their condition and how it affects their behavior.
Work together with their partner to develop strategies for managing ADHD symptoms, such as setting reminders or creating schedules.
Practice active listening and communicate openly and honestly about their emotions and needs.
Seek therapy or couples counseling to work through conflicts and build a stronger relationship.

Family Dynamics

ADHD can also impact family dynamics, as it may lead to conflicts, misunderstandings, and challenges with parenting. However, with education and support, families can learn to manage ADHD symptoms and build stronger relationships.

To improve family dynamics, individuals with ADHD and their family members can:

Educate themselves about ADHD and its impact on behavior and emotions.
Use positive reinforcement and clear communication to reinforce positive behaviors and address negative ones.
Set clear boundaries and expectations for behavior and follow through with consequences.
Seek support from therapists or family counseling to work through conflicts and improve communication.

Being the parent who has ADHD

I am the mother of two teenagers and I can tell you straight up that my neurodivergence affects them. I often don't listen to them intently and miss what could be very important information. It is frustrating for them when they have to repeat things to me later, and often say 'Mom I told you this already'.

It can be soul crushing for me at times. I have managed to tackle this problem first of all by being honest and open with them so that they understand my struggles, and by setting aside time each day, we choose dinner time, where I have no phone and I am completely present at the dinner table to listen to them, and ask my questions and hear about their day. This has been an incredible tool and precious time for us as a family.

I asked my daughter how it is to be parented by someone with ADHD, and she said it is so fun most of the time, but also frustrating when I forget things. This is our normal and I am doing my best to improve my behaviors. She also shared with me that I am so much better since I started taking medication so that was positive to feedback.

9: Alternative Therapies for ADHD

While medication is often the first line of treatment for ADHD, many people also turn to alternative therapies to manage their symptoms. These therapies can be used alone or in combination with medication, and they can provide significant benefits for people with ADHD. In this section, we will explore some of the most popular alternative therapies for ADHD, including cognitive-behavioral therapy, neurofeedback, and acupuncture.

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

Cognitive-behavioral therapy is a type of talk therapy that is focused on changing negative thought patterns and behaviors. It has been shown to be effective for a wide range of mental health conditions, including ADHD. CBT can help people with ADHD to develop better organizational skills, manage their time more effectively, and reduce impulsive behavior.

CBT sessions typically involve working with a therapist to identify negative thought patterns and behaviors, and then developing strategies for changing them. This can involve learning new coping skills, such as relaxation techniques, and practicing new ways of thinking about and responding to situations that trigger ADHD symptoms.

One of the benefits of CBT is that it can be tailored to meet the individual needs of each person. For example, a therapist may focus on helping someone with ADHD to manage their symptoms in the workplace, or they may focus on developing better communication skills in relationships.

Neurofeedback

Neurofeedback is a type of biofeedback that is designed to help people with ADHD learn to control their brain waves. It involves using electrodes attached to the scalp to monitor brain activity, and then providing feedback to the person in real-time.

The feedback can take the form of sounds, visual images, or even games. The goal is to help the person with ADHD learn to regulate their brain activity, which can improve attention, impulse control, and other symptoms of ADHD.

Research on the effectiveness of neurofeedback for ADHD has been mixed, but some studies have shown promising results. One study found that children who received neurofeedback training showed significant improvements in attention and hyperactivity compared to children who received a placebo treatment.

Acupuncture

Acupuncture is a form of traditional Chinese medicine that involves inserting thin needles into specific points on the body. It is believed to help balance the flow of energy in the body, and it has been used for centuries to treat a wide range of health conditions.

While there is limited research on the effectiveness of acupuncture for ADHD specifically, some studies have suggested that it may be beneficial for reducing symptoms of hyperactivity and impulsivity.

Acupuncture can be a safe and relatively painless therapy, but it is important to choose a qualified practitioner who has experience working with ADHD. It is also important to note that acupuncture should not be used as a substitute for medication or other proven therapies.

Choosing the Best Alternative Therapy for ADHD

If you are considering alternative therapies for ADHD, it is important to do your research and choose the therapy that is best suited to your individual needs. Here are some tips to help you make an informed decision:

Talk to your healthcare provider: Before starting any alternative therapy, it is important to talk to your healthcare provider to ensure that it is safe and appropriate for you. They can also provide guidance on choosing a qualified practitioner.
Look for evidence-based therapies: Look for therapies that have been proven to be effective through scientific research. While some alternative therapies may have anecdotal evidence to support them, it is important to choose therapies that have been studied in controlled clinical trials.
Consider your preferences: Different therapies will appeal to different people based on their preferences and lifestyle. For example, some people may prefer talk therapy over neurofeedback, while others may prefer a more holistic approach like acupuncture.
Be patient: Alternative therapies may take time to show results, and it is important to be patient and give the therapies time to work.

10: ADHD and Parenting

Parenting is a challenging task, and it can be even more challenging when your child has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Children with ADHD require a different approach to parenting compared to other children. In this section, we will discuss the challenges of parenting a child with ADHD and offer advice on how to support the child's development and manage symptoms effectively.

The Challenges of Parenting a Child with ADHD

Children with ADHD have difficulties with inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity, which can make it difficult for them to complete tasks, follow rules, and manage their behavior. Parenting a child with ADHD can be challenging because you need to find ways to manage their symptoms while still providing them with love and support. Some of the challenges parents of children with ADHD face include:

Difficulty with Time Management: Children with ADHD may have difficulty managing their time and may struggle to complete tasks on time.
Behavioral Problems: Children with ADHD may have behavioral problems, including impulsivity, aggression, and defiance, which can lead to disciplinary problems.
Difficulty with Social Skills: Children with ADHD may have difficulty with social skills, which can lead to isolation and difficulty making friends.
Academic Struggles: Children with ADHD may struggle with academics, including completing homework and staying focused during class.

Managing ADHD in Children

Parenting a child with ADHD requires a different approach than parenting a child without ADHD. Here are some tips for managing ADHD in children:

Create a Structured Routine: Children with ADHD thrive on structure and routine. Establish a routine for your child that includes a regular bedtime, mealtimes, and study times.
Provide Clear Instructions: Children with ADHD may have difficulty following complex instructions. Provide clear and concise instructions, and repeat them if necessary.
Break Tasks into Manageable Chunks: Break tasks into smaller, manageable chunks. This will help your child feel less overwhelmed and more in control.
Use Positive Reinforcement: Praise your child for good behavior, and use positive reinforcement, such as rewards, to encourage positive behavior.
Encourage Physical Activity: Physical activity can help children with ADHD burn off excess energy and improve their ability to focus.
Communicate with Your Child's Teacher: Communicate with your child's teacher regularly to ensure they are aware of your child's needs and to discuss strategies for managing their behavior in the classroom.

11: Self-Care and ADHD

Living with ADHD can be challenging, as it affects different aspects of one's life, including work, relationships, and self-esteem. However, self-care practices can help to manage symptoms and improve overall well-being. Self-care is the act of taking intentional steps to promote physical, emotional, and mental health. In this section, we will discuss the importance of self-care in managing ADHD symptoms and offer advice on developing healthy habits, managing stress, and prioritizing self-care activities that support mental and physical well-being.

Why is Self-Care Important for Individuals with ADHD?

ADHD can cause various symptoms that affect daily life. Some of these symptoms include impulsivity, forgetfulness, distractibility, hyperactivity, and difficulty concentrating. These symptoms can affect a person's relationships, work, and overall quality of life. Self-care practices can help individuals with ADHD manage their symptoms and improve their quality of life.

Self-care activities can help individuals with ADHD reduce stress levels, improve focus and concentration, and boost their mood. Exercise, for example, is a proven stress reliever and can also help with focus and concentration. Sleep hygiene practices, such as sticking to a consistent sleep schedule and avoiding caffeine and electronic devices before bed, can help individuals with ADHD regulate their sleep patterns. Additionally, practicing mindfulness and meditation can help individuals with ADHD reduce stress and improve mental clarity.

Tips for Developing Healthy Habits

Developing healthy habits is an essential aspect of self-care for individuals with ADHD. Here are some tips to help develop healthy habits:

Set Goals: Set realistic goals for yourself and make a plan to achieve them. Break down large goals into smaller, manageable steps, and celebrate your achievements along the way.
Create a Routine: Establish a consistent routine for yourself, including regular meal times, exercise, and sleep. Having a routine can help individuals with ADHD manage their time and avoid feeling overwhelmed.
Stay Organized: Keep a planner or calendar to help you stay on top of appointments, deadlines, and tasks. Use color-coding or other organizational tools to help you stay organized.
Avoid Overcommitting: Be mindful of your limitations and avoid taking on too many commitments. Learning to say "no" can help individuals with ADHD avoid feeling overwhelmed and stressed.
Take Breaks: Regularly taking breaks throughout the day can help individuals with ADHD recharge and refocus. Taking breaks can also help prevent burnout and increase productivity.

Managing Stress

Stress is a common trigger for ADHD symptoms, so managing stress is an important part of self-care. Here are some tips for managing stress, and they are similar to all of the tips above:

Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness practices, such as meditation or deep breathing exercises, can help individuals with ADHD reduce stress and improve focus.
Exercise: Regular exercise is a proven stress reliever and can also help with focus and concentration.
Get Enough Sleep: Adequate sleep is crucial for managing stress. Stick to a consistent sleep schedule and avoid electronic devices before bed.
Prioritize Self-Care Activities: Make time for self-care activities that promote relaxation, such as taking a bath, reading a book, or going for a walk.
Seek Support: Talk to a trusted friend or family member, or consider seeking professional help if stress is becoming overwhelming..

I would just like to add to this, that for years my way of managing my ADHD was through strenuous cleaning at first, and that soon turned in to strenuous workouts at the gym. I can not start my day without having really gotten a good sweat on, it helps me to focus and creates a positive energy flow in my body where I can be productive. On the days I don’t train I can feel a huge difference, my inattention is out of control, and I can not sit still, and I can not focus. It is night and day honestly. I highly recommend some sort of strenuous workout routine day for anyone with ADHD, including children. Even though I am medicated, the days I go the gym make my day that much better in terms of dealing with my symptoms of ADHD.

12: Conclusion

I have explored the complex and often misunderstood world of ADHD. I’ve discussed its causes, symptoms, and the various approaches to managing this condition. Now, as I come to the end of our journey, I want to leave you with a few key takeaways.

First and foremost, ADHD is not a weakness or a character flaw. It is a neurobiological condition that affects millions of people worldwide. If you or someone you love has been diagnosed with ADHD, it's important to remember that you are not alone. There is a vast community of people out there who are living with this condition and who have found ways to thrive despite its challenges.

Secondly, there is no one-size-fits-all solution when it comes to managing ADHD. Each person is unique, and what works for one person may not work for another. That's why it's so important to find a personalized approach to managing your symptoms. This may involve medication, therapy, lifestyle changes, or a combination of these approaches. It's important to work closely with your healthcare provider to develop a plan that works for you.

Thirdly, it's important to remember that ADHD can be managed, but it cannot be cured. It's a lifelong condition that requires ongoing attention and care. But with the right tools and strategies, people with ADHD can live happy and fulfilling lives. They can excel in their careers, have meaningful relationships, and pursue their passions.

Finally, I want to offer some words of encouragement to anyone who may be struggling with ADHD. You are capable of great things. Your unique perspective and way of thinking can be an asset, not a liability. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't achieve your goals because of your ADHD. With hard work, determination, and the right support, anything is possible.

Thank you for joining me on this journey. I hope that this blog has provided you with some valuable insights and practical tools for managing your or your child’s/partners ADHD. Remember, you are not alone, and there is always hope for a brighter future.

Websites that I used for research that you might find useful are below.

https://www.verywellmind.com/the-relationship-between-dopamine-and-adhd-5267960#How%20Is%20ADHD%20Connected%20to%20Dopamine?

https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/facts.html

https://psychcentral.com/adhd/adhd-overview

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-adhd/