13 Rules of Engagement and Survival for a couple at the Airport
1. Be ready on time dude! Be packed, do not have her packing for you last minute saying "There is no rush! It will take me five minutes!" while you are still watching some sort of sport from Mongolia on TV, you don't really know about or have never heard of, but it looks interesting, blah blah blah. The flight is leaving in 2 hours and it takes half an hour to get to the airport. Get off your ass!
2. Do NOT tell her to "Chill Out" or to "Don't worry babe, we have loads of time". These comments fire arguments and set you up for a guaranteed uncomfortable abusive 10 hours ahead! Hold your tongue man. That is the best advice that can be given.
3. Carry her bag, don't make her drag her and your bag in to the lift. Again will cause strife!
4. At the airport, while checking in, and queueing, if she complains about seats, service or any other issue that arises....leave it be. Please refrain from making comments like "It is fine, do not pay attention to my wife/girlfriend, we can sit anywhere". Are you crazy? You have to sit next to this woman in a confined space for the next 10 hours, remember?
5. If she wants to browse for ten minutes in Duty Free, allow her this privilege. You were watching sports right up to the point of departing the house, remember?
6. Try to go with the flow of irritability that inevitably presents itself at the boarding gate. This goes for both of you. If one would rather queue and one sit until everyone has boarded the plane and read their book, allow yourselves that individual prerogative. You have your seats already allocated and will see one another on the aircraft. Make life easy on yourselves as much as possible!
7. Let her choose the seat, but sweetie, you be nice and give him the seat with more leg room. This is the man you love after all....isn't it? As annoying as he might be, laid back about time keeping, how he is endlessly tardy and cutting it close, how he is blase, cracking jokes about how uptight you always are, and generally being a royal pain the ass, cut him some slack. As I said to him in point 4 this is a long flight and in very close proximity to one another.
8. Fill in her landing card. We women are always stuck with this job, and it is a such a dose! What a pleasure it would be for her, for you to do that one thing. She did book the trip after all, plan the days of sight seeing, pack your suitcase, give you the leg room and so on........
9. Try to not interrupt one another while reading or watching a film. Reading a book is a way of saying (to all passengers), that you simply do not wish to engage in any sort of conversation at all. Do not force a conversation you have started with the stranger next to you on to your partner too, who is trying to read or watch a movie! They are not interested! Also the flirty chatter with the gorgeous air hostess will not go down well. Restrain yourself.
10. Move if she needs to go to the toilet. This climbing thing is such a "put off" and again, you got the leg room! Do this willingly, with chivalry, and kiss her on her way back. Brownie points will be clocking up like a totes register 2 minutes before a race!
11. When you land, both of you must hold back tired, angry, biting remarks, as much as possible. I know it is so annoying to have to line up for another 45 minutes at immigration, and then wait another 30 minutes for your bags, but this is the routine for everyone, so suck it up!
12. Put your arm around her and tell her how excited you are to get this time away together. Put the bags in the taxi and head to your hotel! Smile and realise you are on HOLIDAY!
13. Enjoy! ;)
2. Do NOT tell her to "Chill Out" or to "Don't worry babe, we have loads of time". These comments fire arguments and set you up for a guaranteed uncomfortable abusive 10 hours ahead! Hold your tongue man. That is the best advice that can be given.
3. Carry her bag, don't make her drag her and your bag in to the lift. Again will cause strife!
4. At the airport, while checking in, and queueing, if she complains about seats, service or any other issue that arises....leave it be. Please refrain from making comments like "It is fine, do not pay attention to my wife/girlfriend, we can sit anywhere". Are you crazy? You have to sit next to this woman in a confined space for the next 10 hours, remember?
5. If she wants to browse for ten minutes in Duty Free, allow her this privilege. You were watching sports right up to the point of departing the house, remember?
6. Try to go with the flow of irritability that inevitably presents itself at the boarding gate. This goes for both of you. If one would rather queue and one sit until everyone has boarded the plane and read their book, allow yourselves that individual prerogative. You have your seats already allocated and will see one another on the aircraft. Make life easy on yourselves as much as possible!
7. Let her choose the seat, but sweetie, you be nice and give him the seat with more leg room. This is the man you love after all....isn't it? As annoying as he might be, laid back about time keeping, how he is endlessly tardy and cutting it close, how he is blase, cracking jokes about how uptight you always are, and generally being a royal pain the ass, cut him some slack. As I said to him in point 4 this is a long flight and in very close proximity to one another.
8. Fill in her landing card. We women are always stuck with this job, and it is a such a dose! What a pleasure it would be for her, for you to do that one thing. She did book the trip after all, plan the days of sight seeing, pack your suitcase, give you the leg room and so on........
9. Try to not interrupt one another while reading or watching a film. Reading a book is a way of saying (to all passengers), that you simply do not wish to engage in any sort of conversation at all. Do not force a conversation you have started with the stranger next to you on to your partner too, who is trying to read or watch a movie! They are not interested! Also the flirty chatter with the gorgeous air hostess will not go down well. Restrain yourself.
10. Move if she needs to go to the toilet. This climbing thing is such a "put off" and again, you got the leg room! Do this willingly, with chivalry, and kiss her on her way back. Brownie points will be clocking up like a totes register 2 minutes before a race!
11. When you land, both of you must hold back tired, angry, biting remarks, as much as possible. I know it is so annoying to have to line up for another 45 minutes at immigration, and then wait another 30 minutes for your bags, but this is the routine for everyone, so suck it up!
12. Put your arm around her and tell her how excited you are to get this time away together. Put the bags in the taxi and head to your hotel! Smile and realise you are on HOLIDAY!
13. Enjoy! ;)
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